We live in an airport community in Florida, 64FA, called Naked Lady Ranch.
One of our pilots asked Jacksonville Center (JAX) for direct to Naked Lady Ranch. The controller responded, “Affirmative, you are cleared direct to Naked Lady Ranch.”
This was followed a few seconds later by, “JAX, this is American 123, we’d like a clearance to Naked Lady Ranch” and “Cactus 456, requesting direct Naked Lady.”
ATL/092/31 has CONNI intersection and ATL182/34 has BOWLN intersection named for Connie Bowlin, a Delta pilot who along with her husband Ed, used to have a beautiful pair of P51’s they flew in formation. (No relation to the magazine’s editor.)
I was flying over north-west Ontario and monitoring 122.8 used for position reporting in Canadian bush country. I heard a transmission from a student approaching International Falls, Minnesota.
Him: “International Falls traffic, Musketeer 1234, 10 miles west for landing.”
Me: “Are there three of you on board?”
He sounded quite nervous as he replied, “No, just me and my instructor.”
Me: “Musketeer 1234, are you sure there aren’t three?”
After a slight pause he responded, “That’s a good one, very funny!”
Greg M. Frokjer
Back in the 1980s, controllers at Bradley International parked our cars in a lot right next to the approach end of Runway 6. One night under clear skies and unlimited visibility, an airliner checked in and requested a 15 mile final to Runway 6.
Airliner 123: “Request 15 mile final approach.”
Bradley Approach: “The weather is good VFR, say reason for request.”
Airliner 123: “We are going to practice an autoland. Do you want to come out and watch?”
Bradley Approach: “No, I want to move my car.”
As you’ve probably heard, once up in the high flight levels, one of the only things for an airline crew to worry about is finding a smooth ride and they’re constantly asking ATC about the ride conditions. So, controllers stay well informed of the current ride.
Seattle Center: “Alaska 987, say ride conditions.”
Alaska 987: “Well, Center, it’s about as smooooooth as ridin’ a dead horse.”
I heard the following at Lambert-St. Louis International Airport:
Clearance: “Cleared to Burlington via…(rest of the clearance).”
The pilot repeated the clearance as read by the controller.
Clearance:” I’ve just been told to tell you you’re cleared to the Burlington airport. I guess they want to make sure you didn’t think you were cleared to the Burlington Coat Factory.”
St. Charles, Mo.
Recently, I was a volunteer flight instructor at the Civil Air Patrol (CAP) cadet National Flight Academy in Maine. I decided to check in with Bangor Approach after taking off from Old Town airport. While practicing engine out procedures, I heard:
Bangor Approach: “CAP 602 are you declaring an emergency?”
CAP 602: “Negative. CAP 602.”
Bangor Approach: “You are squawking 7700.”
CAP 602: “Oops, my student accidentally actually entered 7700 rather than just verbalizing the action.”
Bangor Approach: “No problem.”
I went back to squawking the assigned discrete code. If I had not initially contacted Bangor Approach, I would have blissfully continued the flight squawking 7700 since the right hand control yoke blocks visibility of the transponder.
Luca F Bencini-Tibo
Send us your cleverest (or most embarrassing) moment on the radio—or your favorite fix names or airport names—with a subject of “OTA,” to IFR@BelvoirPubs.com. Be sure to include your name and location.