I was flying my Cirrus SR22TN into Boeing Field on the 13R ILS when the following happened:
Me: “N564JH. Intercepting 13 Right ILS.”
Approach: “Cirrus 4JH, 8 miles from ISOGE, following a Citation 10, cleared for the approach. Contact Tower.”
Me: “Tower, N564JH, ILS 13R.”
Tower: “Cirrus 4JH following a Citation, slow to 120 knots for separation.”
The next week I had the same dialog behind a Falcon. Love those speeds.
Karl V. Leaverton
Blakely Island, WA
We were crossing Florida and dodging a lot of typical summer convective activity. My non-pilot wife was sitting right seat and wearing a headset. We heard an exchange between Miami center and a Delta pilot that concluded with:
Delta1234 to ATC (casually): “… Oh well, I am sure we will figure out some way through.”
Wife to me (in horror):”That was not very reassuring! Was that a commercial flight?”
William J. Lahners
Departing Asheville, North Carolina, we’d gotten the ATIS and our clearance. We were ready to taxi when my wife said she left the iPad in the rental car.
“Asheville Ground, Bonanza 02 Charlie, we’re going to have to shut down and retrieve an iPad from the rental car.”
Ground: “No problem 02 Charlie. Give me a call when you’re back on.”
A little while later I called ground again, “Asheville Ground, Bonanza 02 Charlie, we’re all appled up with foxtrot, the clearance and ready to taxi.”
On departure the tower advised, “Bonanza 02 Charlie, maintain the runway heading, contact departure and ‘Droids are better!”
St. Simons Island, GA
Flying past Charleston, SC one night I heard the following:
Approach (male voice): “Reach 123 Heavy expect the visual 33.”
Reach 123 (female voice): “OK we’ll expect 33 but we are not a heavy.”
Approach: “OK sorry about that.”
Anonymous: “Brave man, calling the lady heavy.”
Overheard some years ago while approaching Martha’s Vineyard, MA:
Bugsmasher: “Tower, Bugsmasher 1234, crossing the shoreline.”
Tower: “1234, could you be a little more specific? We’re on an island.”
Bugsmasher: “Well, I can see a lighthouse.”
Tower: “We have five lighthouses. Can you see the airport?”
Tower: “OK, then just land.”
Martha’s Vineyard, MA
Several airports in the Orlando area share the same STARs (Standard Arrival Routes). The airports are: Orlando International, Orlando Executive, Kissimmee Gateway, Space Coast Regional, Orlando Sanford International and Leesburg International.
PIGLT FOUR (RNAV): HKUNA, MTATA, JAZMN, JAFAR, PIGLT, RFIKI—(from the Lion King)
BUGGZ TWO (RNAV): TWETY, BURRD, GRNCH, BUGGZ, BUNIE, DAFIE
CWRLD FOUR (RNAV)—(SeaWorld): ASTRO, APOLO
MINEE FIVE: MINEE
GOOFY SIX (no interesting fixes, just the name)
Luca F. Bencini-Tibo
Flying into Oshkosh for Airventure, just before the airport was to close for the night, the Fisk controllers were a bit more relaxed with the lighter traffic.
With only one or two aircraft ahead of us, and no one behind us, the Bonanza ahead of us had an inquiry of the controller on the ground.
Bonanza 12345: “So, I’ve been coming to Oshkosh for many years, and have yet to find you guys on the ground. Exactly where are y’all located?”
Accompanied by audible chuckles from the ground-based crew, Fisk Approach; “Actually, we operate out of the Oshkosh Hilton!”
Send us your cleverest (or most embarrassing) moment on the radio—or your favorite fix names or airport names—with a subject of “OTA,” to IFR@BelvoirPubs.com. Be sure to include your name and location.