A pilot came in for his FAA physical. He was notably irritated. He flew in from Tyler, Texas, to my office in Kirbyville, Texas. He had just spent a fortune on his beloved C150—new Garmin panel, VG’s, leather interior, tuned prop, and more.
Enroute he heard the following exchange from ATC and traffic:
Center: “Bonanza 2131Z, turn right 20 degrees immediately.”
Bonanza: “Right 20 degrees. Is there a problem?”
Center: “Yes. There’s a Cessna 150 ahead. He’s backing into you!”
That was such a major ego deflation for the Cessna 150 owner that it seemed to ruin his whole day.
John Sessions, AME
EIEIO is a waypoint near Iowa State University home of one of the top veterinary colleges in the country.
Des Moines, IA
This winter, from Charlotte, North Carolina, I flew my Cirrus SR22TN to Zanesville, Ohio to drop off a passenger. I needed TKS fluid for my return flight to Charlotte, but it was dusk and Zanesville did not have TKS fluid. I trekked onward to Columbus, Ohio just under the ceiling at 3000 feet to get fuel and TKS fluid. Twenty miles out of Columbus, I contacted approach:
Me: “Columbus approach N811EX, 20 miles east at 3000 inbound for landing full stop.”
Approach: “N811EX Columbus Approach, turn right 070 degrees and expect vectors to 28L. Keep your speed up and what can you give me?”
Me: “Approach N8111EX, I can give you about 174 knots.” (It was cold, night and I was flying light.)
Approach: “Oh wow. That’s cool. N811EX keep your speed up until 3 miles out. Following you is a 737. Cactus 4322 you will be number two following a Cirrus.”
I would love to have seen the look on the faces of the 737’s crew.
Interesting approach fixes in Florida:
Orlando International ILS or LOC Runway 36R: TRAMP
Orlando International VOR/DME Runway 36L: DISNY
Luca F. Bencini-Tibo
Late one afternoon last December, we were flying our Cheyenne IIIA from Latrobe, Pennsylvania to New Haven, Connecticut. It was dark, and the weather included the dreaded wintry mix. We were north of New York City approaching Long Island Sound and it had been eerily quiet on the approach frequency for several minutes.
N212LM: “Approach, 2LM.”
Approach: “N212LM, descend and maintain 3000.”
N212LM: “Down to 3000 for 2LM. It was quiet for so long that I was getting concerned.”
Approach: “I guess everyone is afraid of the ice.”
N212LM: “I’m not concerned about the ice, but I am afraid of the dark.”
Approach: “Just give me a few more minutes and I’ll give you lower and turn you towards some lights.”
Clearwater Airpark, FL
On flight following this past July, near the Pontiac VOR, a priest friend and I heard one side of this exchange with an aircraft having trouble identifying its destination:
Center: “Stickney, Sticky, Stinky…”
Aircraft: [We couldn’t hear the other side of the exchange, but it was likely interesting.]
Center: “Yeah, direct there.”
Center: “Yeah, it is some little town around there.”
What made it all the more interesting is that I had just become pastor in Stickney, South Dakota.
The FYTTE TWO Arrival to O’Hare has the following:
WELCM TEEOO CHCGO BHAWK STNLE CUUPP CHMPN
It’s a little out of date (we won the Cup in 2010 and 2013), but we’re very confident of another one this year!
Orland Park, IL
Send us your cleverest (or most embarrassing) moment on the radio—or your favorite fix names or airport names—with a subject of “OTA,” to [email protected]. Be sure to include your name and location.