On The Air: April 2013


In 2006, Addison Airport built a new control tower. One day when the main structure was up, but without windows and a few walls, I was taxing out to the runway and overhead this after a Lear jet landed:
Tower: “Turn right at Golf and taxi to park.”
Lear: “Right at Golf. Our tower is going to look like your new one.”
Tower: “Really, where did you come from?”
Lear: “Daytona Beach.”
Tower: “Are you also getting a new tower?”
Lear: “No, we are getting a hurricane. That’s why we are here.”

Bob Orth
Garland, Texas

While taxiing in one day just in front of the evening Alaska 737, I hear this conversation between Kotzebue Radio and Alaska 153.
Alaska 153: “Kotzebue radio, Alaska 153. It seems like there are more birds than usual.”
Kotzebue Radio: “Oh really?”
Alaska 153: “Uhhh… yeah. We seem to have just ingested a small flock of birds…” (sighs on the radio)
Kotzebue Radio: “Alaska 153, roger. Guess you’ll be spending the night, huh?”
Alaska 153: “Looks that way.”

Anthony Remboldt
Walla Walla, Washington

The Yankees are down three games to none and have been scoreless in several games. Detroit is leading. I was departing White Plains the morning after a rain postponement of Game 4.
N1234: “NY Approach, N1234. Checking in through 1000 feet for 4000.”
NY: “N1234, radar contact. Climb maintain 7000. Altimeter three triple zero.”
N1234 .”Cleared Up to 7000, three triple zero. Sounds like the New York Yankees.”
NY: “The game was postponed. Let’s not talk about it.”

Dan Lawson
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard on the way from Van Nuys to Santa Barbara:
Aircraft: “Point Mugu Approach, Baron N123 checking in level 5,000 with information India at Santa Barbara.”
Point Mugu Appch: “Baron N123 roger, Point Mugu altimeter 29.99, and you can tell Santa Barbara Approach that you have the ATIS.”
Aircraft: “Baron N123, we know. We’re just so proud of ourselves that we have it that we wanted to brag to you too.”
Point Mugu (chuckling): “Congratulations. Descend to 4,000.”

John Simpson
Los Angeles, California

Some years ago, my wife and I were listening to DFW tower using my handheld radio. It was a typical fall day in North Texas, severe clear skies, no cloud, with light winds from the south.
Delta: “Ah, Tower, Delta Two-Sixty-Seven, do we have enough spacing behind that American MD-80 in front?”
Tower (Woman’s voice with a Deep South Accent): “Affirmative, Delta Two-Sixty-Seven. Please keep your speed up, you have another behind you.”
Delta: “I’m just asking because we seem close”
Tower: “Now just you listen heah, honey, that’s the most distance anyone’s had all day. If that ain’t enough fer ya, just say you’re goin’ ‘round.”
Delta: (silence)

Paul Sergeant
Allen, TX

Way back when I was a low time pilot in 1969-70, I flew to Atlantic City Airport in my little, rag-wing 1955 Piper Tri Pacer. When it came time to depart, the first three brand new Pan Am Boeing 747’s were in the pattern doing touch and goes with about a dozen pilots aboard each so they could get their required take-offs and landings. As I waited to depart on Runway 31 the tower asked if I could accept a crosswind take-off on Runway 4 because, “These big guys are landing every three minutes and I have to wait five minutes before allowing you to go because of wake turbulence.”
In my meekest, mousey voice I said “Ooh, they’re not so big.”
Immediately a booming bass voice came back and said “Fie Fi Fo Fum. Who said that?”
I promptly requested Runway 4.

William Ramos, MD
Las Vegas, Nevada


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