My wife and I were on final to Runway 16 at my home airport, Pickens County, Ga., when another airplane taxied onto the runway without communicating on the radio.With country-western music on the XM, I went missed and politely suggested over the radio that the offending pilot might use his radio, too.
While there was never any danger, my wife, who is not a country-western music lover, remarked, “Please don’t let me die with country-western music playing.”
Roger M. Pickett
It seemed that Bridgeport Tower was having a bit of a hearing problem one day. After being told to report entering right downwind for Runway 24, we had this conversation:
Bridgeport Tower: “Six Six Romeo, say altitude.”
Me: “Six Six Romeo is 1000.”
Tower: “Six Six Romeo repeat altitude.”
Me: “Six Six Romeo is 1000.”
Tower: “Six Six Romeo, repeat altitude again.”
Me (getting annoyed): “Six Six Romeo is O-N-E Thousand.”
Tower: “Six Six Romeo, T-H-A-N-K-S.”
William M. Burke
The ATIS at Austin-Bergstrom International Airport is computer generated, so the list of closures during numerous taxiway and runway renovations were delivered in a steady drone with no real inflection. But clearly someone was having fun with what they typed in for the computer to say:
ATIS: “Austin-Bergstrom International ATIS information Golf. 1353 Zulu.
Wind 350 at 13, Visibility 10, few clouds at 2500. Altimeter 3015. Notices to airmen: Runway 17L-35R closed between Taxiway Golf and Taxiway Foxtrot; 6000 feet available for departure. Taxiway Golf One closed. Taxiway Golf Two closed between Taxiway Golf and Taxiway Hotel. Taxiway Charlie closed between Taxiway Golf and Taxiway Romeo. Taxiway Bravo closed between Taxiway Kilo and Taxiway Hotel. Taxiway Kilo closed. In other words, if you can find your way to a runway, you can take off. Advise on initial contact you have information Golf.”
Obviously, there was a NASCAR event as I heard the following one-sided exchange (controller was working two frequencies), as an unknown aircraft made its way to the event.
Columbia Approach: “Challenger Two Eight Sierra, who are you pulling for in today’s race?”
There was pause as the Challenger replied. It must have been clever.
Approach: “Good answer Two Eight Sierra. That just saved you vectors and holding in a thunderstorm.”
The best example of male self-control I have ever heard, courtesy of Albuquerque Center:
ExecJet 224 (female voice): “Albuquerque Center, ExecJet Two Two Four, requesting direct BOOTY … ah [laughing] … I mean BOWIE. Direct BOWIE.”
Albuquerque Center (after a long pause): “Cleared direct … BOWIE.”
Back in my training days, I was on my last leg home to Syracuse, N.Y., on my IFR long cross-country with my instructor. It was 1:30 in the morning and severe clear with a bright moon. I was under the hood and handed off by Cleveland Center40 miles out from home. It seemed clear we were the last expected arrival into Syracuse that night:
Me: “Syracuse Approach, Warrior Eight One Niner Eight Victor, level 4000 with Whiskey.”
Syracuse Approach: “Warrior Eight One Niner Eight Victor, descend and maintain 3000. Present heading to join the localizer. Cleared for the ILS Runway 10 approach. Cleared to land. Taxi to the ramp, remain this frequency.”
I’m sure that controller heard us both laughing as I read that clearance back and, since we never heard another word from him, to this day I wonder where he was when we landed.
Our On-The-Air page depends on you. The pool has gotten lowish (as it always does by late winter). New stuff is coming in, but we need you to get out there and do some flying. Send the funnies you hear to us over hear at: firstname.lastname@example.org.